


Drown me (in your warmth)

by nik_nimmi



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, But still read with caution, Explicit mention and description of suicide, M/M, No actual death tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 11:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15142430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nik_nimmi/pseuds/nik_nimmi
Summary: Taekwoon wants to drown.Hakyeon lets him drown in warmth instead.





	Drown me (in your warmth)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silvadiva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvadiva/gifts).



> Please be careful reading this, there is explicit mention of suicide.

"Don't."

It was just a word. No fights, no movement. Taekwoon felt dizzy in his head, the height from which he was looking downwards sending shivers up his spine.

"Taekwoon, don't."

The voice was so full of desperation, hope, he had to squeeze his eyes shut to prevent any oncoming tears from escaping his eyes.

He was just so  _tired._ He didn't know when he had started feeling this way, when he had started hating himself for every single thing he did. His mind had become his own enemy, threatening to rip him apart everyday.

How exhausting it had become, to get up in the morning, to force himself to walk to the studio, record songs even though they were once things he loved, craved. How much he hated the fact that his hands refused to write lyrics, not a single one in the past months.

He wanted it to stop. He wanted himself to stop feeling this way. To stop feeling these bouts of nothingness, bouts of sadness and hopelessness that left him snapping at anyone and anything.

He wanted to stop living.

That's why he was here, at the ledge of an old railway, made above gloomy waters that looked so inviting. The night air was chilly, but it didn't matter to him.

A dead man didn't need a coat.

But then  _he_ found him. Always ruining his plans, intruding him whenever he wanted anything done. 

Hakyeon with his stupid 6th sense, arrived just after an hour of Taekwoon reaching the place. His legs felt like lead, as he had heard the other, the familiarity of the voice squeezing his heart.

"Go away."

Taekwoon sounded childish to his own ears, but he didn't care. He wasn't going to listen to the older, no matter what he'd say.

He made the mistake of looking at the other.

"I love you too much to go away."

Taekwoon wanted to scream. Who allowed Hakyeon to cry? How could he let the other control him so easily?

How could the other even fathom loving someone as messed up as him?

"Taekwoon, please."

The plea was obvious in his voice. His insides twisted, clarity invading his mind. Now that Taekwoon looked back at the water, it didn't seem so inviting anymore. It looked cold, ready to engulf him and rid him of his senses. To suffocate and swallow him whole.

It looked terrifying.

With a step back, he jumped back on the rails. His hands trembling from imagining what he was about to do. 

_No no no,he didn't want to die. He didn't, he didn't. But how was he supposed to survive? How was he supposed to stay sane with a mind that corrupted him to the point-_

"Taekwoon, let me help you, please."

He turned around and t o see the elder approach him. Hakyeon's hands were shaking, his fingers gently caressing his face, afraid that Taekwoon was just an illusion, someone who'd disappear any moment.

"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to right now. But please, please _,  just_  let me care for you once without a fuss. I'm begging you" 

Hakyeon's voice trembled as he spoke, tears spilling from his eyes. Taekwoon couldn't bare to look at him, he had never seen him so desperate, so persistent.

He had never seen Hakyeon so  _sad._  

 He allowed the older to drag him into the car. The silence the way back only interrupted by Hakyeon's sniffles.

When they had finally settled in the living room, Hakyeon immediately wrapped his arms around the younger.

A choked sob escaped Taekwoon.

His tears spilled, finally breaking the dam he was trying to stop. His finger clenched into fists in Hakyeon's shirt, his arm squeezing him tightly, as his mind registered what he almost did.

Hakyeon was so warm, so _so_ warm it just made him sob harder and harder. How could he not want to see Jaehwan's cute antics again? How could he forget Hongbin's heart melting smiles? Wonshik's random bouts of clinginess? How could he even think of missing out on their Hyukkie finally becoming someone of his own?

How could he ever think of losing this bundle of pure selfless love that was clinging on to Taekwoon just as hard as he was.

Hakyeon's fingers softly threaded his hair, and he looked at Taekwoon with so much hope, with such deep emotion, Taekwoon nearly cried again. Hakyeon was  _so small_ in his embrace, it squeezed his heart just merely thinking that he would've lost this.

The elder pressed a light kiss against his forehead. Cupping his face, he gave him a reassuring smile.

"Let us help you, we love you, you know. More than we love ourselves."

Hakyeon said it so softly, so kindly like he was dealing with something very delicate, that would shatter the moment he said the wrong thing. Taekwoon managed to say the only thing he could've without breaking down again.

"I love you so much. I love you all so much."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes characters are the only one can express themselves. I was feeling down so I wrote this. I'm gonna make sure to write pure fluff next week time tho. Hope you enjoyed!! <3


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